I said toward the end of the last blog that I was going to do some more scientific experimentation on myself as... well you know. That Atkins guy has become pretty rich and famous with his stupid little diet. So I figure that if I put Dr. in front of my name and invent a new diet then the same will happen to me.
| Pass/fail* | 10pm weight (kg) | +/- (accumulated) | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Day 1, 24th August | Pass | 81.5 | -1.2 |
| Day 2, 25th August | Pass | 80.2 | -1.3 (-2.5) |
| Day 3, 26th August | Pass | 79.3 | -0.9 (-3.4) |
| Day 4, 27th August | Pass | 79.2 | -0.1 (-3.5) |
*Pass conditions: 1 Undertook a minimum of 150 minutes fast walking. 2 Did not consume any substance of more than 1% carbohydrate.
As you can see, I lasted for 4 days on Dr. Jro's 1% diet, losing 3.5kgs in the process (starting at a weight of 82.7kgs on day zero). Then I gave up because I didn't like it. But I think that it goes to prove that you have to be an absolute fucking retard to be a fat-fucker. Because Dr. Jro's 1% diet included me eating bacon with melted cheese, brie wrapped in salami, about 20 thin steaks over 4 days, and other concoctions from the mind of Dr. Jro that satisfied the limiting criteria of no ingredient containing more than 1% carbs. And I lost over half a stone over 4 days. (Just think what I could have done if I actually wanted to lose weight). Leading me to the conclusions that firstly, Dr. Jro's 1% diet does work. Very well. And secondly... why are there so many fucking fat people? It's easy to lose weight.
Fat people, by the very nature of their species, are lazy fuckers. They'll try doing any fucking thing they can, like exercising and eating right apparently (yeah right). But if it's not fucking obvious by common-sense how you lose weight, Google... 30-minutes on fucking Google educating yourself and you have 10-times the knowledge that I needed to come up with a diet that lost me 3.5kgs in 4 days.
Wasn't like I was starving myself. I was eating bacon and cheese and steak in unlimited quantities. I just did so in a manner in which I lost weight.
And I'd have to say that of all the experiments which I've done on myself over the years, this one was by far the easiest.
I was hypothesising headaches, nausia, bad moodiness, tiredness, and worse. And none of it came. None of it. Apart from unusually strong cravings for carb-rich foods, life was normal. This was easy. Even for a retard.
In fact the main reason that I stopped, was that I was losing weight too quickly. That much weight that quickly isn't healthy. And even though I would assume by the nature of the diet that most of the loss came as fat-loss, I wasn't taking body-fat readings. So should it have been majority muscle, my heart would have been weakening quicker than it's work-load diminishing. Which is the danger of losing weight quickly.
If I was to do this kind of diet again, I would rename it Dr. Jro's 3% diet, or Dr. Jro's 5% diet because eating foods at less than 1% carbs and I was losing weight too quickly for what I was comfortable. And if this diet wasn't easy enough already, you'd be amazed at the plethora of different dietary options become available to you even if 1.5% carbohydrates is acceptable (I spent a lot of time in the supermarket researching). At 3% or at 5%. Man that's safer weight-loss on an easy, easy diet.
I suppose the one thing that puts this into doubt is the 150 minutes (minimum) of walking that I did everyday. Because most people don't fully appreciate how effective just a couple of hours of walking everyday can be for weight-loss. Particularly fat-loss. So it would be arguable to attribute the positive results to that.
Who fucking cares though? It just goes to show that weight-loss is easy. And if you can't do it you're a fucking retard.
Get on Google, learn what you're fucking talking about, and stop wasting the NHS's money with your fat-people operations.
I suppose that the real discipline always comes at the end of diets, when all the foods that you've been craving are suddenly accessible again. But it's pretty fucking obvious, that once you lose weight, don't start eating McDonals breakfasts every fucking day, and it's not going to be a problem.
Ease back in, don't eat 15 cakes, and you're fine.
Fucks sake!
If you read that article, you'll find that the cash-strapped NHS is denying cancer-treating drugs, to aid to the fatties who're too fucking lazy to get onto Google for 30-minutes.
You want my fucking opinion? Leave them to fucking die like you should with smokers. Spend NHS money on people without diseases and illnesses that are self-created.
I suppose that me being inline for a knee-operation as a result of skiing might contradict this view slightly. But I don't fucking care. I don't even want this stupid operation. I'd rather be in Paraguay but the fucking doctors think that it's important. Fucking pussy's.
Anyway. I terminated the diet yesterday on account of too much weight-loss. So now I can go back to doing things the old-fashioned way. By exercising and eating properly believe it or not. You wouldn't think so to look at the news nowadays, but there actually are ways to lost weight that don't involve surgery.
I know! Who'd've thought?
...
I spoke to Lilach a couple of days ago. It's kind of a hard, and very unique situation (to me at least), that we're in at the moment.
We're single. Separated. But we know that we're going to be together in New York in a couple of months. And then we know that we're going to be together in April again. So we talk everyday. Sometimes twice per day. Often for three or four hours at a time. We talk about the future. Things that I never thought I'd ever find a girl that I'd be willing talk about them with. Like kids. Where we'll live. If we'll get a dog (which we will!), and what kind of dog.
It's just that there's the small stipulation, that we aren't actually together right now. More her choice than mine, but I cannot blame her when we'll only see each other for a couple of weeks out of ten months. But it is kind of a bizarre scenario. Because when you talk to someone for four hours a day, you kind of know everything about them. So when she met a nice guy last night, it's... weird.
It's ok. It's weird, but it's ok.
But I just find myself dreaming, just waiting for April to come. Because I can't wait for us to be together.
I know that I've done right. I know that I've made the right decision by way of myself and my family to come back for the funeral, and then to stay on for knee surgery. But there's just a part of me... my God I'd kill to be in Peru right now.
I'm going to sound very, very gay by saying this, but already, and in fact ever since I realised that we weren't going to be meeting again in Bolivia, all I can think of is what can I buy her for the perfect present for when we next meet. And I've been thinking and thinking and thinking. And I still can't come up with something perfect. But, I don't want it to be something gay like a fucking ring or necklace or something. It's not exactly original. I want to come up with something perfect and original and unique. So that she knows that I care about her. And this is the gay part. But I don't care how long it takes me or how much it costs me, because to see the smile on her face when I give it to her... any amount of money is worth it. Any amount of money is worth it.
I'll never hide away from the fact that this is my first ever... proper relationship, shall we say. This is the first relationship that I've been in where I actually, really cared. You know? And you might deem it premature therefore that we talk about future quite as candidly as we do. But I saw a quote yesterday that I thought summed my feeling up perfectly.
"A real man doesn't love a million girls. He loves one girl in a million ways."
I'm not especially sure what it means by 'real man'. But... I don't know. I've never been one for one-night stands. I've never really enjoyed them. And I just find myself a girl who I can be happy with, who I can talk to about everything, who I can see a future with, and I really don't have any need for me to be single.
What am I going to do? Have meaningless sex with girls I never want to see again? Probably catch AIDS in the process? I already know who I want to be with...
This is why I'm worried today.
We spoke last on Thursday night. And the last thing that we said was "Ok. We'll talk tomorrow at 11am Peru time (5pm UK time)."
She didn't show-up.
And so I message her through Facebook. And then again. And then again. And then again. And then again. Until now. As I write this sentence it's 9:17pm UK time (3:17pm Peru time). So almost 48-hours after we last spoke and almost 36-hours after we were supposed to next speak, and I haven't heard a thing from her. And... I'm not sure that we've been this long without contact since Buenos Aires.
There were times when, say, she went to Machu Picchu that I knew that we wouldn't talk. Or when she had a long bus journey. But other than that, at the very minimum I've got a Facebook message at least once per day. Often more. And never once have we scheduled to talk and she hasn't been there, or at least given me a notification that she wouldn't be there, if not before then very soon after.
So I might sound like an over-reacting drama-queen seeing as we spoke less than 48-hours ago and we aren't even "officially" a couple right now. But I am fucking worried. I am fucking worried. Not quite to the extent of packing my bag for Peru to go looking for her. But this is weird. This is weird. This long without contact. Particularly when I know what she is supposed to be doing and there's no reason that she could not contact me.
I haven't called them yet but I've already looked up the number of the hostel that she was staying at. And I've located her family on Facebook. Because this isn't normal.
And I'm trying to be rational. I'm trying to think the best and think that we're 7,000 miles away and not even a couple. I cannot know where she is every second of the day. But I know how we've been since I got back to England. And to go with no contact for two days... I don't think that it's happened yet. Particularly when we'd scheduled to talk the next day.
And I often said that I felt as safe in South America, sometimes safer, than I did in the US or in England for example. And I did. But I'm not a young, attractive girl travelling alone in a foreign country. And there are exceptions obviously, but a lot of Peruvian men... I don't like them. They're very, very sleazy. All seem to think that they're God's gift. And this is the way all through South America. But Peru was the worst.
Before we'd "officially" separated, Lilach was telling me about this taxi-driver she had, and she said I think, six or seven times he would say to her in Spanish, "What is the sex like with your English boyfriend. Peruvian men are muy fuerte (very strong)" Basically saying Peruvian men are dynamite in bed. And seeming to think that all girls (particularly foreign), will jump on top of him when he says that.
This is a taxi-driver for fucks sake. It's not like you're even in a club. And... I never experienced it personally for obvious reasons. Because they'll clean-up their act (to some extent) if a girl's with a guy. But multiple, multiple girls told me when I was in Peru, that the Peruvian men were the worst and the sleaziest that they'd come across in all of South America. They're all... basically pigs. And for some reason have the understanding that all foreign girls jump into bed with the first man that asks them. And...
I don't know. Maybe I'm being over-protective. But Lilach's young, hot and vulnerable. Travelling in Peru. And although there's probably a perfectly innocent explanation, every second that passes right now, I am getting more and more concerned.
I've probably checked Facebook a hundred times today. Twenty since I started writing this blog. Because I... something just isn't right. I just have a bad feeling because going this long without contact. It's not right. It's not normal. And I'm trying. I'm trying to think rationally right now. But everytime that I refresh my Facebook page I'm getting a little bit more scared. Because what can I do? I'm in fucking England for fucks sake.
If I call the hostel and they say they don't know where she is, I'm basically left with flying to Peru and looking for her myself.
Maybe this is kind of an odd comparison, but you know how parents can stress out if their kids don't let them know where they are or they arrive home unusually late one night. Well I kind of feel like that.
Something just doesn't feel right and I feel helpless to do anything about it.
But... it's not even been 48-hours since we spoke. I've got to try and think rationally.
But I'm not going to lie, I'm a bit scared right now. I just kind of feel helpless and I just want to know. Because this... something just isn't normal here. This is too long. It's been playing havoc on my mind since last night.
...
Well trying to distract myself from this, I'm going to deviate from my usual stance of mankind is evil and killing the world and a cancer on planet earth and all the usual, and try to take a positive stance.
Yes, global warming might be causing a bit of havoc now and then. Earthquakes, floods, hurricanes, yes. But although New Orleans, Haiti, Thailand and most recently Pakistan might not appreciate this sentiment, most of mankind has been largely unaffected. As a quote I saw the other day read, "In positive news, 6,694,254,041 people completely unaffected by the Pakistan floods."
It's only a very few unlucky ones that are actually getting fucked by man right now. In the main we're all getting to drive fancy cars, use air-conditioning and turn lights on in rooms that we're not even in, without consequence. Things couldn't be better.
Pakistan... hahah. That's their problem.
So I'm taking a new approach to man fucking up the world.
Rather than lambasting mankind, wishing for disease to wipe us all out, I'm going to appreciate timing. Thank the lord that I was born now, and let my kids deal with the consequences.
I've drawn a very scientific graphic to illustrate my point.
Now I am strongly of the belief, and have said this many, many times, that the earth, and life in general, it balances on an equilibrium. When half the planet is in Winter, the other half is in Summer. When one half has night, the other half has day. The very balance of nature is that no species can eternally thrive, as there will become a shortage of food and the weakest from the species will die until equilibrium is restored. Until, seemingly, now.
Or is it?
Mankind is repelling my theory that no species can eternally thrive. We just continue to grow and to grow and to grow. There is no food shortage and there is no predator to kill off the weak. The blind, the disabled, the aged, all continue to defy the laws of evolution. So what we have to consider, is have we as a species learned to defy nature? Or are we simply postponing the inevitable return to equilibrium?
And my opinion is the latter.
Resources are continually removed from nature. Woodland, the source of oxygen, is being continually destroyed at the same time as CO² levels are rising. Human population is growing at an alarming rate at the same time, due to rising sea levels, as land-mass is decreasing. We're taking, and taking, and taking, and taking, in every manner we can imagine. And there is absolutely no feasible way that this can sustained. None.
If human population is supposed to be 9 billion by 2050, what about by 2100? 12 billion? 15 billion perhaps.
To serve the population that the earth currently holds, we're borrowing a huge debt to nature. But how long can that continue?
And nature has fired off a few warning shots that this cannot continue. It's not like global warming all happened in a morning. I remember the first moment that I first heard about it in Geography class when I was eleven. We've had fourteen years since then to do something about it. The "devastating" earthquakes, floods, tsunamis etc that I referred to earlier. These are getting gradually worse. It's not happening over night.
AIDS. That's a warning shot.
And as man continues to ignore and ignore and ignore these warnings, the point will come that we hit the peak; the point that the natural-debt is at it's highest, before nature starts collecting and it starts returning us to equilibrium. And at that time the debt-collection will include massive loss of life, and pain and suffering for many. If not all.
I don't know exactly at what point we'll reach the peak. But honest to God, that is what I believe will happen.
And... well, I said that I was taking a positive outlook today. And I am.
Just like with any debt, the time of borrowing is the time of prospering. That is the good time. That is when you have something that is not yours. You have more that you rightfully deserve. Using a financial debt, you may have a job that pays £15,000 per year, but you're spending £20,000.
That is now.
The bad times come when the debt is to be repaid. When you're earning £15,000 per year, but can only spend £10,000 as the rest is going to debt repayment. That is to come.
The borrowing in this instance is the unnecessary use of natural resource. The repayment will come in the form of death and disease as equilibrium is restored.
And the reason that this is positive, is that we have not yet peaked. We are still in the borrowing phase. So I am going to be thankful for the fact that I get to live in a world where I get to consume more than I rightfully deserve. And hopefully I'm dead before we peak, and I can leave this huge natural debt of death and disease to my kids and grandkids. Awesome.
Like... I don't think that this happens with banks, but just imagine that you took out a £50,000 debt with a loan-shark and gambled it all away before having a heart-attack and dying. The loan-shark is going to want repayment somehow. So the loan-shark, with his unreasonable interest rates, demands £150,000 of your next of kin. Your child.
You have borrowed the money. Your children are left with the repayment.
That's where I see the world right now. Except instead of money, we're dealing in death and disease. And this is a good thing, because... I don't have kids. So someone else's kids will have to pay my debt. So fuck them.
If Lilach turns up then that all might change. But very selfishly, and this naively is the stance that most people seem to adopt, we're all borrowing now and living with our fancy cars and our air-conditioners, and we're uncaringly leaving our debt behind for future generations to deal with.
I might sound like a cunt for saying it, but it's a good thing because I get to live in the good times. The unborn children can deal with the bad times.
I don't like the situation in relation to mankind and the earth right now. But if we as a species are unwilling to do anything about it, which we seemingly are, then just be thankful that you and me got to live when things were great.
It all comes down to population control. There's too fucking many of us to be sustainable, and populations continue to grow. And seeing as mass-genocide is generally frowned upon, as is just leaving the sick to die, the only real solution to voluntarily decrease the debt, is birth-control.
We all frown upon China's one-child policy at the moment. But fifty years from now when we look back at Katrina as just a nice Summer's breeze, one child per couple might have seemed generous.
So that's me being positive!
Our kids are all going to die. But at least we can drive to the shops two-minutes away.
...
I don't know why, but I am going through a phase right now (which happens sometimes), where I just have this huge, huge thirst for knowledge. Last night I was watching a documentary on the Falkland Islands war in '82. The night before I watched a (highly-recommended) documentary on National Geographic, I think that was called 'Churchill's darkest decision'. A seemingly forgotten event of World War II when the British apparently "massacred" 1,200 French sailors haha.
They should have just surrendered then like normal.
But even as I write this blog I'm downloading all 9.1gb of the BBC's The World at War. Something like 36 hours (26 episodes, plus DVD extras), on the events of WWII. God-bless pirate downloads.
I don't know why I have these phases.
I have nothing more to say.
I found it funny yesterday actually, because I got a hit on this website from Baghdad in Iraq. Caught my attention because I don't have a huge Iraqi following for some reason. I don't actually have a following at all, so certainly not an Iraqi one. But the search-term that they'd typed into Google to find their way onto this website was 'Medellin hookers prices'.
I get the distinct feeling that there's a lonely marine in Baghdad that get's to go home soon. They obviously don't pay him much because he can't afford the hookers in the US. So he's off to Colombia instead. So look out for any marine's that you pass around Medellin in the coming weeks. Especially if you're a hooker. Could be some easy money right there!